I have beliefs as well as many others do. We could have the same views or the same beliefs as each other or they could be completely different. Today, I wanted to talk about the Lord. I have never been very spiritual and open about my views about church or about God. I was born into a Catholic family and baptized Catholic, yet my dad is a Protestant. Since moving to California, I have been to mostly Christian churches due to being invited by friends, so I have become very influenced by the Christian beliefs. Even before I went to a Christian church, I had not been so fond of the Catholic views. My reasoning for that would be their views on being accepted into Heaven because of your sins; as a Christian, you are accepted for who you are regardless of your sins and your well-being, yet as a Catholic, you are not accepted into Heaven with open arms by the Lord because of your experiences or your sins. I open the Lord into my life with open arms more than before and I have always had the Lord by my side whether or not I have gone to church, prayed at night by the bed side on my knees, or just thinking about Him. Another reason would be the views on both sides of being Catholic and Christian about their gay views. I accept everyone just as the Lord shall accept anyone and everyone regardless of who they love or who they are not.
You should be accepted by the Lord no matter who you are, who you were, or who you will become. Heaven is a place to go when you are laid down by the Lord and taken in because He decided it was your time. I will always follow the Lord's path for me. God is my savior and I have made that choice last year. I am amazed by His choice to be there for me and His sons and daughters.
Over the past year, I have gone to TN which is a Christian church in my area. They are interactive and very influencing and they know how to make the Lord come to live in a room. I have cried each and every time I have gone to the service. My favorite of church would have to be worship. The songs are so empowering. During service, I use the Bible on my phone and I also go into my notes on my phone and write down the passage that we are talking about and what we learn that day. They are so great and I love that church because I have come clean to being Catholic. They accepted me with welcoming arms and I am apart of the High School Ministry. It feels amazing to be apart of something so powerful and amazing. It's because of God and His love for me. He has reached out to me and made me who I am now in 2016. He is the cause of my change.
It is God who made me join this church. He brought me this church through my friend and I got to experience the most beautiful thing with my best friend. She invited me to her baptizing ceremony and I saw many others get baptized and they had said their name and why they chose to let God be their savior that day and forever on. It brought me to see that God is the one I want make my own savior that day, too. I did not get baptized again that day to convert to Christianity, but I will be Christian in my own ways, starting with my beliefs and the choices I make. :)
Thank you God. You are my savior and to this day, I shall not forget how much You love me. <3
-the writer
Saturday, January 9, 2016
Friday, October 16, 2015
Senior Struggles and Benefits
Hello everyone! I have not posted in a while but that is due to the fact that I am still in school. I wish I was not in school still, but I have this year and then possibly a gap year to really find myself and get into the industry that I want to be in. So, during this senior year, I have gone through a few struggles and a few benefits, and I would like to share them with you.
Struggling senior year is bound to happen with everyone. I have gone through a few so far as the year has begun. Those struggles began with my english class. I am taking English 4 ERWC, which means Expository Reading and Writing Course. I have chosen this course because I am not a fan of the books. I do not like to read unless I get to choose what the content is. I also chose this course for the writing experience because I wanted to write better when it came to my blog posts. In this class, we were assigned a Narrative Essay; an essay about yourself, and I had written one about my past with the abuse happening with my family and then bullying throughout my life (I will be posting it on my blog shortly for your viewing pleasure). Being a teacher, when you read a story about abuse and all the things that have happened, it is protocol that they report it and tell the office so that they could prevent it if something is still occurring. Well, this had happened with my essay. I was scared, honestly. Due to my parents not knowing that I wrote it, made it worse in case they did find out. But thankfully, they have not and hopefully they will never find out.
A benefit to my senior year would be meeting new friends. Yes, a guy and then a few girls. No, unfortunately nothing is happening with me and the fellow, but hopefully we can just get to know each other for now. I just want all my friends to be happy, especially him. We had talked and gotten to know each other a little bit, yet it lead to kissing under the stars on a blanket at the park. It was just so amazing. Good kisser, great guy, the most unbelievable personality that you would ever know, the kindest heart ever, and the best smile ever, followed by the cutest laugh ever. We stand friends, but distant a little. Deciding to just be friends and get to know each other, we have hung out about 2 times since deciding that. Awkward, a little, but that is just in my opinion.
One thing that gets me every time, is that I have had my first kiss with now 5 guys at that same park. I do not know what that means, maybe just a coincidence. I do not like reflecting on certain things like that because it makes me sound like I do it often.. but I promise I do not. I just wish it could be different with this guy, that is all. Time will only tell.
Another struggle I have gone through is almost not graduating High School. There is a lit more pressure on me to graduate because I flunked a lot of classes freshmen and sophomore year, and now I am given the consequences. I will graduate to prove everybody wrong. I have no one that believes in me and frankly, I am my own support system 95 % of the time. That is sad.
Finally, the other benefit that I have gone through this year, so far, is that I am getting more into the industry than I had assumed I would be since about 8th grade. Which makes me happy because I am doing this all on my own because I do not have a support system next to me like others do. I am inspired by very few to keep going and always love what you do, otherwise it is a job.
I hope you all liked this post. I will be sure to post the essay I have written for class. Possibly, by Wednesday (10/21/15) of next week. I encourage you all to keep a smile on your face andjust be yourself regardless of what anybody says. Have A Goodnight!!!
Struggling senior year is bound to happen with everyone. I have gone through a few so far as the year has begun. Those struggles began with my english class. I am taking English 4 ERWC, which means Expository Reading and Writing Course. I have chosen this course because I am not a fan of the books. I do not like to read unless I get to choose what the content is. I also chose this course for the writing experience because I wanted to write better when it came to my blog posts. In this class, we were assigned a Narrative Essay; an essay about yourself, and I had written one about my past with the abuse happening with my family and then bullying throughout my life (I will be posting it on my blog shortly for your viewing pleasure). Being a teacher, when you read a story about abuse and all the things that have happened, it is protocol that they report it and tell the office so that they could prevent it if something is still occurring. Well, this had happened with my essay. I was scared, honestly. Due to my parents not knowing that I wrote it, made it worse in case they did find out. But thankfully, they have not and hopefully they will never find out.
A benefit to my senior year would be meeting new friends. Yes, a guy and then a few girls. No, unfortunately nothing is happening with me and the fellow, but hopefully we can just get to know each other for now. I just want all my friends to be happy, especially him. We had talked and gotten to know each other a little bit, yet it lead to kissing under the stars on a blanket at the park. It was just so amazing. Good kisser, great guy, the most unbelievable personality that you would ever know, the kindest heart ever, and the best smile ever, followed by the cutest laugh ever. We stand friends, but distant a little. Deciding to just be friends and get to know each other, we have hung out about 2 times since deciding that. Awkward, a little, but that is just in my opinion.
One thing that gets me every time, is that I have had my first kiss with now 5 guys at that same park. I do not know what that means, maybe just a coincidence. I do not like reflecting on certain things like that because it makes me sound like I do it often.. but I promise I do not. I just wish it could be different with this guy, that is all. Time will only tell.
Another struggle I have gone through is almost not graduating High School. There is a lit more pressure on me to graduate because I flunked a lot of classes freshmen and sophomore year, and now I am given the consequences. I will graduate to prove everybody wrong. I have no one that believes in me and frankly, I am my own support system 95 % of the time. That is sad.
Finally, the other benefit that I have gone through this year, so far, is that I am getting more into the industry than I had assumed I would be since about 8th grade. Which makes me happy because I am doing this all on my own because I do not have a support system next to me like others do. I am inspired by very few to keep going and always love what you do, otherwise it is a job.
I hope you all liked this post. I will be sure to post the essay I have written for class. Possibly, by Wednesday (10/21/15) of next week. I encourage you all to keep a smile on your face andjust be yourself regardless of what anybody says. Have A Goodnight!!!
-the writer
Monday, September 7, 2015
Your Words Cut Deeper Than a Knife
The previous post about falling in love tears me apart. I learned to not be friends with benefits with someone that you have only known for 2 months. It was stupid, but I liked him. I am not in love, nor was I ever with this guy. I was so wrapped up in feeling so happy finally after I moved on. I did not really understand what love really was until my first boyfriend. We did everything together for the first time and I felt like on top of the world. Yet, with this guy who turned out to date me for 4 days, made me feel like I was Ten Feet Tall.
Sometimes it all gets a little too much.
I wish I listened to my friends. They told me he was bad news to begin with and I kept saying that he is more than a hook up or a kiss and move on. He was more than that and I could feel it in my bones. Yet, I could not understand that he made it out to be something completely different because he wanted nothing more than friends with benefits. I missed my ex and I took a lot of things from guys, in the sense of: happiness. I did not realize how much that could hurt me and hurt the friendships I had with them. It definitely did hurt them and myself. I am still friends with 2 of the 3 guys. Yes. 3 guys that were my friends, I decided would be the best thing to do and hook up with them because I felt so horrible about myself because I lost someone I loved so much and I did not think for a second what could possibly happen in the future with my friendships if this stuff does not work. One of the guys ended up being closer than I expected. I wanted a relationship and he did not.
Back on topic, I messed up. I did not listen to my homie and my best friend. They were everything to me and their opinions still mean the world to me because they help me make decisions that I can not make by myself this very day. The guy I had gotten with and dated for 4 days ended up going back to his friends and talking shit about me behind my back. I found out and wanted his shit out of my room and I am not that mean to throw or burn someone else's things. I gave it back and they got mad. Do not ask how, but they did because I gave it back by laying their jacket on the front door step. It was a ridiculous excuse to get mad, but in that situation, the text read, "Are you stupid?!?! Why the fuck would you leave it by the front door [...]". I was done at that point because if you are friends with benefits with someone, you do not talk shit about them and then keep fooling around with them. Especially because I still liked that guy and he just played with my heart.
This guy and I were not right for each other, yet he called me princess and treated me like a princess. He knew how to treat a girl besides the whole talking shit on them. But he never did anything wrong and he actually wanted to introduce me to his parents and grandparents. I felt honored to have met them and I wished he would have just stayed the same guy he was when we first met: sweet, generous, cute, and whole-hearted. But instead, he was a complete asshole and treated me like a princess while treating me like shit at the same time.
To my friends: I am sorry for not listening to you at the time. I learned my lesson.
-the writer
Sunday, September 6, 2015
VMA's in a Positive, Yet Opinionated Way
Now, Let me get out my notes...
Well to start, the Video Vanguard award was presented by Taylor Swift and given to Kanye West (aka: Yeezus). In the actual video that the Video Music Awards showed at the beginning was about Kanye West and some of his life goals and aspirations as he grew in the entertainment industry. One of the first things the video had just briefly covered was that he "aimed for perfection" and that "everyday was spent pursuing the images that haunt his dreams". In my mind, I had envisioned that they were talking about the social shaming that comes along with being famous and being a public figure because that is what a majority of public figures deal with in the entertainment industry and any industry including they YouTube industry especially. Secondly, the video went on to say, "It;s important to stay idealistic, to be vulnerable, to see the world through the eyes of a child--free, open, full of wonder and imagination". A lot of the industry is revolved around your work, image, and your social status (in other words, how society sees you). Kanye West is one of the most well-known artists in the industry and a lot of other artists' managers and producers do not want them to associate themselves with Kanye because if could put their image on the line or they will lose views and ratings. When I look at the entertainment industry all I see is: ratings, ratings, ratings, and more ratings. What the industry and the shows and everything looks for and looks at are ratings and reviews because that is what shapes their image. Well-known artists like Big Sean and Paul McCartney and other artists you have heard today. Yet, many artists are either scared to lose their image or scared of what will happen if they thank Kanye West for discovering them,yet at the VMA's we all heard Big Sean proudly thank Kanye for finding him and saying he would not be where he is today if it were not for Kanye, while himself, Kanye and John Legend accept an award.
Moving on, another point I wanted to cover was that when Taylor Swift presented his award to him, she had said that Kanye has had one of the greatest careers of all time. Fast forward a little to Kanye's speech, he was given a 2 minute window to speak and he used that 2 minutes for an applause from the audience, which he is baffled by. He made his first sentence start with "Listen to the kids"! Then goes on to explain that if he has a simple conversation with someone in a store, the person will go on to say that he "isn't so bad after all", yet while he says that he gets a laugh from the crowd as though it was supposed to be funny. The social media presents him as this horrible person and his label does and a lot to contribute to that is his music. Yet, we look at his music and see it as good beats and the "shit". He uses his music to be inspiring and spread a message. Then, he talks about the contradiction of fighting for other artists and how he can never find the right thing or the perfect thing to say and it ends up being disrespectful to other artists. He does not understand award shows. The taking of celebrities that work their whole life to be successful with their work and put them on a carpet/ chopping block with judges all around them and have the opportunity to be called a "loser".
Lastly, Kanye West gets defensive on stage as he says, "I will die for the art and what I believe in and the art won't always be polite". He goes on to say that this is a new mentality and that we won't control our kids with brands and won't teach our kids low self-esteem and hate to our kids. We will teach our kids that they can be something that they can stand up for themselves and believe in themselves". He gives this amazing speech and again says to listen to the kids. Us kids and teens have an imagination of our own. There are so many artists of different kinds all over the world being discovered for our many talents. We try so hard to succeed but so many industries turn us down because of what we have or where we come from and they don't give us the opportunity we ask for to actually see potential in us. I work my ass off to be someone that I have always wanted to be and frankly, no one has given me the time of day to listen to what I have to say about the entertainment industry. So, to have so many people see my blog and see my opinions on this subject is a dream. To actually be able to sit down and write about my feelings, my life, and my journey is amazing compared to the amount of rejection I get from anyone on a daily basis because they get to voice their opinion and get the attention they want, to the point of them not needing another opinion or perspective of another. So, thank you for sitting here and reading my rant and my message which was: Listen to Kanye West... listen to the kids because we are changing the world little by little and whether you like it or not, we are changing it right now because of the opportunities that we are given in today's atmosphere. Also, if Kanye wants to go through with going for president in 2020, then so be it. He is living his dream so that he can be who he wants to be and live his life without a label on his back and he is spending his time wisely because you never know when life is going to end because of some random occurrence.
Well to start, the Video Vanguard award was presented by Taylor Swift and given to Kanye West (aka: Yeezus). In the actual video that the Video Music Awards showed at the beginning was about Kanye West and some of his life goals and aspirations as he grew in the entertainment industry. One of the first things the video had just briefly covered was that he "aimed for perfection" and that "everyday was spent pursuing the images that haunt his dreams". In my mind, I had envisioned that they were talking about the social shaming that comes along with being famous and being a public figure because that is what a majority of public figures deal with in the entertainment industry and any industry including they YouTube industry especially. Secondly, the video went on to say, "It;s important to stay idealistic, to be vulnerable, to see the world through the eyes of a child--free, open, full of wonder and imagination". A lot of the industry is revolved around your work, image, and your social status (in other words, how society sees you). Kanye West is one of the most well-known artists in the industry and a lot of other artists' managers and producers do not want them to associate themselves with Kanye because if could put their image on the line or they will lose views and ratings. When I look at the entertainment industry all I see is: ratings, ratings, ratings, and more ratings. What the industry and the shows and everything looks for and looks at are ratings and reviews because that is what shapes their image. Well-known artists like Big Sean and Paul McCartney and other artists you have heard today. Yet, many artists are either scared to lose their image or scared of what will happen if they thank Kanye West for discovering them,yet at the VMA's we all heard Big Sean proudly thank Kanye for finding him and saying he would not be where he is today if it were not for Kanye, while himself, Kanye and John Legend accept an award.
Moving on, another point I wanted to cover was that when Taylor Swift presented his award to him, she had said that Kanye has had one of the greatest careers of all time. Fast forward a little to Kanye's speech, he was given a 2 minute window to speak and he used that 2 minutes for an applause from the audience, which he is baffled by. He made his first sentence start with "Listen to the kids"! Then goes on to explain that if he has a simple conversation with someone in a store, the person will go on to say that he "isn't so bad after all", yet while he says that he gets a laugh from the crowd as though it was supposed to be funny. The social media presents him as this horrible person and his label does and a lot to contribute to that is his music. Yet, we look at his music and see it as good beats and the "shit". He uses his music to be inspiring and spread a message. Then, he talks about the contradiction of fighting for other artists and how he can never find the right thing or the perfect thing to say and it ends up being disrespectful to other artists. He does not understand award shows. The taking of celebrities that work their whole life to be successful with their work and put them on a carpet/ chopping block with judges all around them and have the opportunity to be called a "loser".
Lastly, Kanye West gets defensive on stage as he says, "I will die for the art and what I believe in and the art won't always be polite". He goes on to say that this is a new mentality and that we won't control our kids with brands and won't teach our kids low self-esteem and hate to our kids. We will teach our kids that they can be something that they can stand up for themselves and believe in themselves". He gives this amazing speech and again says to listen to the kids. Us kids and teens have an imagination of our own. There are so many artists of different kinds all over the world being discovered for our many talents. We try so hard to succeed but so many industries turn us down because of what we have or where we come from and they don't give us the opportunity we ask for to actually see potential in us. I work my ass off to be someone that I have always wanted to be and frankly, no one has given me the time of day to listen to what I have to say about the entertainment industry. So, to have so many people see my blog and see my opinions on this subject is a dream. To actually be able to sit down and write about my feelings, my life, and my journey is amazing compared to the amount of rejection I get from anyone on a daily basis because they get to voice their opinion and get the attention they want, to the point of them not needing another opinion or perspective of another. So, thank you for sitting here and reading my rant and my message which was: Listen to Kanye West... listen to the kids because we are changing the world little by little and whether you like it or not, we are changing it right now because of the opportunities that we are given in today's atmosphere. Also, if Kanye wants to go through with going for president in 2020, then so be it. He is living his dream so that he can be who he wants to be and live his life without a label on his back and he is spending his time wisely because you never know when life is going to end because of some random occurrence.
Go for your dreams, don't hold back, and be who you want to be and don't give a fuck about what other people think because when Kanye West gave that speech, he was basically giving a big "Fuck You" to all the artists out there who are too scared to say any of those words on T.V. or in our society today. I applaud Kanye for being that one person who has stood up for all the artists who are too worried about their careers and labels to say anything and too worried about their image in this society because they don't want to be labeled anything or be taken for granted for what they say. Just like Kanye might be taken for granted and not be taken seriously since he said he was going to run for president in 2020.
Expect the Unexpected.
-the writer
Monday, August 17, 2015
I Think I'm Falling In Love...
Have you ever stepped back and thought about life and the person you are with and imagined that you would want to give anything and everything for someone to be happy? I have done so many things that I would have never done for someone. I can't believe my eyes. Some good and some bad, but all can be fixed.
Last night was an eye-opener. At about 2:30 a.m., I snuck out to see a guy that I have liked a lot for over a month now. It was the first time I ever snuck out of my house and can I just say how nervous I was at getting caught.. shaking and me constantly looking around to make sure no one sees or comes outside. As nerve racking as that is, the second we kissed, I felt wanted, loved, and appreciated. Like he said on the 4th of July, "We have our own fireworks right here". We hugged for a little bit and that's when it hit me, "I think I'm falling in love". It's not that he isn't the right guy, he is beyond amazing and perfect and just all around my hero, but we aren't together.. which is a bit of a problem with me falling only for the reason that I want to be with him, I want to explore the world with him and go on little adventures. As long as it is with him, I will be happy or, as long as I still have him present I will be happy. But, that doesn't mean present in the sense of right by my side because we both have lives that we need to live so a hug and a kiss here and there will suffice. But frankly, being friends with benefits kills me sometimes... most of the time... okay, fine -all the time.
We dated for a good 4 days and broke up because certain things in his life took over. We talked about after it being all over, that we could see where things go if we are together and it isn't working in my favor. I feel like I'm being used for sexual favors, but I know him enough to know he isn't doing that. This past week, we didn't see each other a single day, but we talked here and there and what shocked me was that he was dying to see me and kiss me.. but I couldn't tell if that was him being in a state of sexual attraction talking or actually him wanting to see me. He drives me crazy in the sense of me needing to see him at least 1 time a week. Like, that is pretty fucking good for someone who used to see him everyday for 2 weeks straight when we first met. That is all we did for 2 weeks after the 3rd.... we hung out from noon till whenever. Don't get me wrong, I adore him to the absolute fullest, but when you see him everyday for that long, you want to be with him for a long time.
The second I knew I was falling in love with my handsome knight in shining armor, I knew something was gonna go wrong. I write almost every month whether it be in my journal or on here. Yet, every time I write about a guy I like, something goes wrong. Although him and I have gotten super close, sexually and personally; adventure is always in the air. We definitely had the best adventure on the 25th of July in a van... hahaha! That's all I'm gonna say because I think you get the idea of what 2 people who are very attracted to each other can do in the back of a van with every aching bone in their body to not do something too fast... although, it was fast if you look at it from the time we met to then, but I felt like whenever you are ready to do more than just hook up, go for it... but only when you are ready. Words of Advice: Don't let someone pressure you into sex. It isn't something anyone should force on their partner. Please, don't force anyone to do anything that they don't want to.
Last night was an eye-opener. At about 2:30 a.m., I snuck out to see a guy that I have liked a lot for over a month now. It was the first time I ever snuck out of my house and can I just say how nervous I was at getting caught.. shaking and me constantly looking around to make sure no one sees or comes outside. As nerve racking as that is, the second we kissed, I felt wanted, loved, and appreciated. Like he said on the 4th of July, "We have our own fireworks right here". We hugged for a little bit and that's when it hit me, "I think I'm falling in love". It's not that he isn't the right guy, he is beyond amazing and perfect and just all around my hero, but we aren't together.. which is a bit of a problem with me falling only for the reason that I want to be with him, I want to explore the world with him and go on little adventures. As long as it is with him, I will be happy or, as long as I still have him present I will be happy. But, that doesn't mean present in the sense of right by my side because we both have lives that we need to live so a hug and a kiss here and there will suffice. But frankly, being friends with benefits kills me sometimes... most of the time... okay, fine -all the time.
We dated for a good 4 days and broke up because certain things in his life took over. We talked about after it being all over, that we could see where things go if we are together and it isn't working in my favor. I feel like I'm being used for sexual favors, but I know him enough to know he isn't doing that. This past week, we didn't see each other a single day, but we talked here and there and what shocked me was that he was dying to see me and kiss me.. but I couldn't tell if that was him being in a state of sexual attraction talking or actually him wanting to see me. He drives me crazy in the sense of me needing to see him at least 1 time a week. Like, that is pretty fucking good for someone who used to see him everyday for 2 weeks straight when we first met. That is all we did for 2 weeks after the 3rd.... we hung out from noon till whenever. Don't get me wrong, I adore him to the absolute fullest, but when you see him everyday for that long, you want to be with him for a long time.
The second I knew I was falling in love with my handsome knight in shining armor, I knew something was gonna go wrong. I write almost every month whether it be in my journal or on here. Yet, every time I write about a guy I like, something goes wrong. Although him and I have gotten super close, sexually and personally; adventure is always in the air. We definitely had the best adventure on the 25th of July in a van... hahaha! That's all I'm gonna say because I think you get the idea of what 2 people who are very attracted to each other can do in the back of a van with every aching bone in their body to not do something too fast... although, it was fast if you look at it from the time we met to then, but I felt like whenever you are ready to do more than just hook up, go for it... but only when you are ready. Words of Advice: Don't let someone pressure you into sex. It isn't something anyone should force on their partner. Please, don't force anyone to do anything that they don't want to.
-the writer
Monday, August 10, 2015
Remembering the Moments We Had
I have recently been talking to my ex and I can't stop thinking about all the amazing times we had, but also all the bad times we had. It makes me miss everything and it gets sad, it really does. I miss it all. Whether or not it is the sex I miss, the fun times, or the endless texts of him sending me lyrics. I miss it all. Everything about it. It has been about 10 months now since we broke up and it is good to take to him, but he is getting jealous because I found a guy and I really like him, but I posted pictures and everything with him.. so my ex got jealous and got mad so he blocked me on everything. It is sad because I wanted to shove it in his face at first that I found somebody, but I knew that wasn't the kind of person I am, so I stopped doing it on purpose. I miss talking to him and hanging out with him. I only want us to be okay again. That's all I want for our friendship. He said he is still looking over me with the things I do but I don't know why he keeps doing it and he also says that he feels responsible for my actions. I don't understand but it's a "him thing". He says I wouldn't understand, but I'm trying to with every bone in my body. He taught me everything about my sexual ways and he also taught me how to actually be happy. He showed me that I changed and needed to change back to myself because I slipped away.
I have him to thank for teaching me logic and reason and using that in my everyday life. I can't thank him enough and he doesn't realize how much he is and has been appreciated by me. He was my first love. I loved him and he will always have a special place in my heart. So, thank you if you are reading this (probably not).
I have him to thank for teaching me logic and reason and using that in my everyday life. I can't thank him enough and he doesn't realize how much he is and has been appreciated by me. He was my first love. I loved him and he will always have a special place in my heart. So, thank you if you are reading this (probably not).
-the writer
The Audition That Determines It All
On 8/8/15 I had gotten up at about 6 am to drive to LA for an Open House at a performing arts school. It was such a great college (AMDA-The College and Conservatory of the Performing Arts)! I had such great time meeting actual Actors, Directors, Choreographers, and many others!! I unfortunately did not get pictures with the 2 I had actually seen before. It made me a little upset, but I put that aside because it felt like such an honor to be sitting in front of them.
Then, on 8/9/15, I had gotten up again at 6 am to drive back to AMDA for my audition. At AMDA, you have to audition to be accepted into the school. I am auditioning for the Acting program to get my BFA in Acting (Bachelor's in Fine Arts). So, for that audition, I had to memorize 2 monologues and write 3 essays. It was worth it, but I didn't really memorize my monologues. So, I improved my dramatic monologue, but my comedic I did good on. There were a lot of things that happened in the months of me wanting to audition... In meaning, I reconsidered auditioning. But I'm happy I did it in the end. But, now I have to wait for a response which should be in about 3-4 weeks. I just need to turn in my letters of recommendation!!!
Wish me luck/ Break a leg!
Then, on 8/9/15, I had gotten up again at 6 am to drive back to AMDA for my audition. At AMDA, you have to audition to be accepted into the school. I am auditioning for the Acting program to get my BFA in Acting (Bachelor's in Fine Arts). So, for that audition, I had to memorize 2 monologues and write 3 essays. It was worth it, but I didn't really memorize my monologues. So, I improved my dramatic monologue, but my comedic I did good on. There were a lot of things that happened in the months of me wanting to audition... In meaning, I reconsidered auditioning. But I'm happy I did it in the end. But, now I have to wait for a response which should be in about 3-4 weeks. I just need to turn in my letters of recommendation!!!
Wish me luck/ Break a leg!
-the writer
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Talking to the Ex..
It's never a great idea to talk to your ex. Feelings, emotions, passions, etc. they all come back to haunt you.. at least that was my personal experience with that the first time I talked to my ex. No, my current crush does not know I am still in contact with him and frankly, it's not the best idea for him to know right now. Yes, honesty is the best policy and being truthful is the best thing as well, but right now, times are hard and that's the last thing he needs to worry about. Being just friends with an ex is okay, but only if you don't develop any feelings for him. Fortunately, I haven't nor will I in the future. Some things have triggered the water works (tears) because of the past and just thinking about the past makes things 110% worse. I'll admit he can be an asshole at times, but I'm willing to tolerate it. The fighting wasn't good when we were together and frankly, it isn't fun now. Of course I miss what we had, but moving on and finding the guy I'm with now was the best thing I have ever done for myself. It took me a good 6 months to move on after we broke up. Although we were friends with benefits for 4 months, I don't care because it was the best experience I had gotten. I'm happy to say I wasn't cheated on or taken advantage of, and hopefully in the future I'm not going to be taken advantage of. God has my life in His hands and He has a path for me and I trust Him to make good things and some bad things come my way. God only puts the things in your life that He knows you can handle. Yet, it is only up to you to choose whether you want to move on from that thing or let it take your life piece by piece. I can only thank God so much for putting the guy I'm with, in my life. I get the feeling we will go far and I think that is a sign or a signal from God saying to go all the way and don't let anything stop you from being with him.
Thank you God and thank you to my readers. I wouldn't be here still if it wasn't for you.
Thank you God and thank you to my readers. I wouldn't be here still if it wasn't for you.
I love you all.
-the writer
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)