Homecoming was this Saturday (10/18/14) and I had the best time in the world with my lovely boyfriend who I love with all of my heart. He does nothing but take care of me and support me and love me and make sure that I am happy. Which, I appreciate so much and I can't believe I have him in my life for over a month now, but I had an amazing time with him this Saturday; dancing, going on rides, taking pictures, etc. I sit here on my couch on this Sunday night just thinking, wishing everything was okay. I get it. It gets annoying hearing your girlfriend is depressed, but that isn't what this is about.
This is about having the best night ever turn into the worst scare in my life. When you called me, I was crying; I still am. The worst fear in the world is being in a car accident an the 2nd worst fear is having the one you love in one. I have been through this almost 5 times now. Two of my friends that were younger than 15 died not even 2 weekends ago, my grandma passed away in a car accident, my friend that was older than me died in a car accident because the car was off the ground because they were speeding and it was raining out, then my other friend died in a car accident shortly after that one. Hearing the sound of your voice on the phone last night, worried the hell out of me. I will never forget the words, "I fucked up", "I couldn't break". Then the text shortly after saying "You said drive safe. And I couldn't". The one I love in a car accident was the scariest thing ever. I don't want to experience that again. Although I cannot predict the future, I don't want it to happen. I prayed so hard last night after I called you back about 5 times because you kept breaking up. Then you wouldn't text me or call me back for like 20 minutes. I didn't know what to do. I was crying outside and panicking.
If you (my boyfriend) are reading this, please just listen to me when I say I love you and I just want to know if you are okay. Tell me what happened when you are ready and not still in shock. I get that it will take awhile, but I just want to know that you are okay. I have to see you. And if I see you at school, I'm scared that I'll start crying and just want to hug you and kiss you and just make sure that you are comforted in this time of need. I get that I can't tell anyone what happened, but on here, it's anonymous. I love you <3 I hope to see you soon because I just want to hug you to make sure you are okay and safe and to let you know that I hope this doesn't occur again.
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