Don't Know Where I'm Going, But I'll Get There

                    Yes, it's crazy to think that you know where you are going one moment, then you begin to lose you train of thought because you hit a bump in the road. I have hit that bump in the road this month, especially with my ex. We have reconnected and I can't be happier. I know, it's crazy because I had so much hate, but I believe that there is only hate where there is love and frankly, I don't have any reason to hate him. He means so much to me and our memories were the best. I need time to move on and I have. There will always be a place in my heart for him and I won't give that part to anyone else, it's the memory place.
                    Yes, I'm lost. I'm lost in the sense of I don't know where I want to go in life. I'm lost now and I can't find my path again. I want to be an actress, but the closer I get to the opportunity, I see it fade in my head and I can't possibly explain why. 
                    No, I don't like anyone, nor do I love any young fellow. I want a guy to look at me like I'm something he has never come across. Of course my country side wants a cowboy who can teach me how to ride horseback again, and to teach me my southern ways again. I miss it all so much, but I don't want my life to be a movie. I just want my love story to be a movie, without all of the fighting of course. 
                   No, I don't want to be here. In California, I don't belong here. I want to be in Georgia. It's where I belong, it's where I fit in. Where I can be myself and not have to lie to feel accepted.I love my friends and all the people here in California, but that doesn't mean I have to stay here. I may know a lot of people, but frankly, I just want to feel welcome. I just want to experience the life I have always wanted to live. I want to go to my home! My home is where I feel safe, where I know I'm safe. Far away, or closer than you think. If I'm safe, I'm peachy. 

i just want to go home. 

-the writer